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Author: Hannah Gantt, LPCC
In this day and age, it can be easy to get frustrated with the seemingly endless stream of social media posts about how you're not good enough, beautiful enough, funny enough, or other additional qualities you may feel you're lacking in. If you're single, you may be worrying that you'll never find 'the one.' If you're not single, part of you may be worried that there's only one person out there who's going to love you for you. However, even if it feels that way right now, this is an opportunity to remind yourself that there's plenty more love out there for everyone - including yourself! Let's explore a few ways to increase feelings of love and connectedness in our lives:
Love is a verb. It's not just something that happens to you, it's something you do. You choose to love someone, and then act on that choice every day by doing loving things for them. That doesn't mean it's easy--sometimes it can be really hard! But if we want our relationships with other people (and ourselves) to thrive, then we have no choice but to put in the effort required for loving actions and words every single day.
Love isn't just about saying "I love you". It's also about being there when someone needs help or support; listening when they need to feel heard; spending time together even when getting together feels like too much work (or boredom); letting go of grudges when those grudges aren't serving any purpose anymore... the list goes on. Love is something we choose to do, every day. For our partners, our friends, and ourselves.
Loving yourself is difficult -- there are a lot of layers to it. A difficult but important lesson is that your worth is not dependent on the approval of others, or on what other people think about you. You are unique and special in your own way, and it doesn't matter if someone else doesn't see it--you do! And that's all that matters in the end: whether or not you love yourself unconditionally.
There are many ways to show yourself love: by being kind towards yourself when things aren't going well; by acknowledging your strengths and weaknesses; by accepting who YOU are (flaws and all); appreciating what makes each person special; cherishing memories from the past...and living fully in the moment in order to create even moments for tomorrow's future.
The more love we put into the world and the more love we find within ourselves, for ourselves, the more love we will be able to give to others as well.
Solitude and reflection are both important for our emotional health. Solitude is the time we spend alone, away from other people -- it can be as short as 5 minutes or as long as a weekend. When you're feeling stressed or overwhelmed, solitude helps you relax and recharge so that when you re-enter the world again, you feel more balanced and ready to deal with whatever happens next.
Reflection allows us to look at our lives from outside ourselves: it's an opportunity for self-awareness that can help us identify patterns in our behavior (or lack thereof), find solutions for problems we've been experiencing, understand why we do what we do and how those actions affect others around us--and ultimately lead us toward greater happiness in all aspects of life.
Everyone has their own journey and their own lessons to learn. It's easy to think that the grass is always greener on the other side - you can't possibly know what kind of struggles they may be facing that you aren't aware of yet (or even if they're happy, really). That guy who seems like he has it all might be dealing with some serious stuff in his life that we all just don't know about yet. We all do. Your perception of the external layers of their life are in no way a valid reflection of the realities of their internal ones.
You are not alone. There are many people who love you, and they want the best for you. It's okay to be scared or sad, but don't forget that there is plenty of good in this world too. You deserve to be happy and loved by someone who will treat you with respect, make you feel special, and care about the things that matter to you most.
Don't forget that you deserve success, too. Don't settle for anything less than what makes your heart happy. If it doesn't feel right for some reason--or even if it does--then trust yourself enough not try again until something clicks into place with more ease than before.
If you're struggling with anxiety, depression, or loneliness, ketamine therapy may be able to provide symptom relief and increase feelings of connectedness. Here at Better U, we do everything we can to ensure we provide you with a healing experience. Take our two minute assessment here to see if ketamine therapy is a good fit for you!
