Author: Hannah Gantt, LPCC
Parenting is one of the most challenging, rewarding, and important jobs we can do. It's also a journey that changes you as a person, and it's important to remember that if you reach a point where things feel more difficult or uncertain than usual. There are going to be days when your child won't stop crying or doing something they're not supposed to do; there will be nights where they wake up screaming because they had a nightmare or just want you close by. But no matter how frustrating these moments may get, they don't last forever—and neither does being a parent! If you're feeling worn out by parenting duties, try keeping these tips in mind:
When you notice your child doing something well, don't be afraid to let them know. For example, if they are doing their homework without complaining or asking for help, praise their efforts! It's a great way for you both to feel good about what your kid has accomplished.
The same goes for when they mess up: instead of focusing on their mistake and making them feel bad about themselves (which will only make them more likely to repeat it), focus on the positive aspects of what happened afterwards. For example, if they forget something at home and have to run back home after school because they left it there, instead of saying something like "I told you so!" which might make them feel bad about themselves because he/she didn't remember; instead say something more encouraging like "We're glad we got everything straightened out today!"
Children need to learn how to be responsible for themselves, so don't hover when they're making choices or decisions. Let them make mistakes and learn from them; this is how children develop resilience. When you do intervene, make sure it's because the situation warrants it (i.e., if there's danger), not just because you feel like it's time for your child to be independent.
Mindfulness is the ability to be aware of your thoughts, feelings and surroundings. It's a state of active, open attention to one's experiences in the present moment. As you can imagine, this is an incredibly useful skill for kids to learn at any age--and it's never too soon!
One of the most important things you can do as a parent is to be present in the moment. This means not thinking about yesterday or tomorrow, but instead focusing on what is happening right now. It also means being aware of what is going on in your own mind and body--what are you feeling? How does this situation make me feel?
It's crucial for parents to practice mindfulness because it helps them connect with their child on an emotional level without getting caught up in their own thoughts and feelings (which often lead us away from our children). When we're able to focus on others rather than ourselves, we can respond more effectively when they need us most -- when they need someone who understands where they're coming from; someone willing to listen before judging; someone willing to accept them unconditionally despite any imperfections found along life's journey together!
Be honest with your children. Be honest with your partner (and the rest of your family). Be true to yourself, and encourage your children to be true to themselves. Be honest in all that you do.
Self-care is the practice of taking care of yourself. It's as simple as that! You can do it in any way that feels good to you: meditating, doing yoga, going for a walk in nature or getting your nails done are all examples of self-care activities.
If you're feeling overwhelmed by your parenting responsibilities and need some help finding time for yourself, try setting aside one night per week where all other responsibilities are off limits so that all your energy goes toward relaxing and rejuvenating (maybe even with some wine!). This doesn't have to be an elaborate ritual--just block out some time where no one else can get through or call on you until bedtime rolls around again next Monday morning.
As a parent, you're the first person to see your child as they come into this world. You get to watch them grow up and become their own person. You are also one of the most important influences on how they will see themselves in this world, so it's important that you make sure that your kids feel comfortable with who they are and proud of everything about themselves.
Encourage them to embrace themselves by teaching them:
Failure is a part of life. It's a learning opportunity, and it can be overcome. If you're a parent, failure is something that should be celebrated as much as success because it means your child is trying new things and taking risks -- and those are two very important things for them to do.
When we focus on our children's failures rather than celebrating their successes, we send the message that everything they do must be perfect or else it isn't worth doing at all. This will only hinder their development into confident adults who know how to fail well!
Set healthy boundaries and follow through with consequences. Be consistent, patient and kind when setting your child's boundaries. Firmly enforce the rules you have set for your child, even if they don't like it at first (or ever). It's important to remember that children do not have the capacity to understand the consequences of their actions until they are at least four years old. Your child's brain is still developing, which means that he or she cannot fully grasp the concept of cause and effect.
As parents, we are often focused on the needs of our children. But what about our own needs? While it's important to be aware of your child's feelings and desires, you also need to make sure that you are being a loving parent by taking care of yourself.
Being a loving parent means being mindful of how your actions affect others as well as yourself. Parenting is an opportunity for us all (including me!) to learn how to become more loving towards ourselves and others.
If you're not a parent, don't worry! The most important thing is to be the best person that you can be. If you have children or plan on having them someday, then these tips will help guide you on how to be a more loving parent.
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